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An update on my health situation…

An update to all those who have been asking how my health is doing: My Doctor has started me on a rehab exercise program. I...

Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game?

Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game? There was a face-off in the corner.

St Peter is standing by the Pearly Gates…

St Peter is standing by the Pearly Gates when up walks Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. St Peter put one hand up and says, "Stop. I need...

Just got back from my mates funeral…

Just got back from my mate's funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball...it was a lovely service.

Bad case of crabs

Yes, this is a very bad case of crabs, but... 'Hang in there little fella !'  

My neighbour knocked on my door…

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning. Can you believe that...2:30am ! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.  

Man calls 000…

Man calls 000 and says, "I think my wife is dead" . The operator says how do you know? He says, "The sex is the...

Bought some rocket salad yesterday…

Bought some 'rocket salad' yesterday, but it went off before I could eat it !

A Teddy Bear is working on a building site…

A teddy bear is working on a building site. He goes for a tea break and when he returns he notices his pick has...

I’m thinking of getting a Labrador…

Tommo says "Jack, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador". ”Sod that" says Jack, "have you seen how many of their owners go blind?"  

Police are hunting the knitting needle nutter…

Police are on the hunt for  the 'Knitting Needle Nutter’, who has stabbed six people in the village in the last 48 hours. It's believed...

I woke up and saw the ghost of Gloria Gaynor

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then...

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On this day…in 1912

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