Many years ago, my grandfather shared with me the tale of a supposed Olympic Games that took place in days long past.
A renowned psychic known as “Psychic George” had made predictions about who would win the gold medals even before the games commenced. With the upcoming games just a few months away, I would like to share his latest predictions for you to ponder. Keep in mind, they may be inaccurate, as he has been dribbling a bit lately.
Clearly, Italy will take the gold for diving.
Argentina will win gold in handball.
Ireland shall triumph in the uphill water ski races.
Holland is set to take gold in horticulture, specifically grass.
Mexico is expected to claim gold for waving.
The USA is poised to win gold for the highest number of foreign trips involving firearms.
Switzerland will receive gold for yodelling.
Germany will secure gold for the best sense of humour.
The UK will win for apathy.
Canada is likely to earn gold for bear hugging.
Russia will take home the gold for being the best vodka drinkers.
Greece will clinch gold for face pulling (attempting to smile while accepting a loan from Germany).
Egypt is in the running for sand castle building.
France, it is said, might win for licking German boots.
Spain could receive gold in football, although some have unkindly suggested it was with assistance from referees.
Lastly, South Africa will win a gold for having the friendliest policemen.
A first for these games is that New Zealand is expected to take home a gold medal for Vowel Mangle-ing.
We would certainly have two obvious gold medals. One would go for fair play, while the second would be for sportsmanship.
It’s worth noting that George wasn’t always correct. He had certain countries that he preferred… and others that he clearly did not like. It’s tough to determine which ones he favored based on his predictions.
Do you perhaps have your own predictions about which countries might win the medals?
I must leave now, as George is busy predicting the next soccer World Cup.
How is Qatar spelled again?
Enjoy the games!
by TOG and the dribbling Psychic George
