It ain’t half hot mum, in Australia

I was very happy to be invited over to Australia to enjoy the second sport played by the Roos.

Or are they the hockey players, no, no, they are footballers or soccer players as they call it over here. We in India are the best hockey players in the world  but must give best to the Roos as we are not yet world champions at soccer. But we will be soon.

The Australian second sport is cricket. The greatest game ever created by the professionals of Rawalpindi. We are recognised as the greatest test players of all time. This year we had to settle for a run of bad luck. How can the best batsmen in the whole world play on pitches used as ashtrays and beer tents? I am sure the umpires came from Russia,as their directions and decisions would not have been given in Delhi-catessons.

I cannot fault the Ozzies sense of humour. They cheered when ever we lost a wicket, and when out without scoring, they waved and cheered whilst throwing chickens in the air.

It is a custom especially associated with Pommies.

We also have the bestest spin bowlers, although a man called Shane learned his spinning when a young man in India, has played well for the Aussies.

This year our super batsmen had to put up with non-stop fast bowling. It plays hell in the afternoon after a curry lunch. Actually the wicket-keeper had the temerity to complain about  the batsman’s wind. It completely put him off his stroke. Spinners give the players a chance to run off the wind before tea.

The fast bowlers smoke between runs and drink beer at the end of every over. No wonder they call them demon bowlers.

I can’t wait to return home and prepare for the English cricket season. All that rain and five day tests over in three days because rain stopped play. If only it had rained more in Australia.

I expect we will win the Olympic gold for cricket. I have heard that we will have Irish referees, metal bats and armour plated helmets.

What a wonderful game and the people here were so friendly. They have a game called Hooning…it’s in the newspapers every day. I didn’t see it but apparently it’s very popular…a bit like elephant racing, but they use borrowed cars to race. It Can be quite dangerous.

Also aussies seem to think we are coloured. They insist we are red indians. But we are not from Red India.

Must go now as there are a lot of jobs in Jeopardy, and I need to get a train ticket to get there first to be in line for a good job. They are sure to need a good batsman.

See you in London 2012

Happy New Melawi

by Rahndi Ghit


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