All cricketers find their spiritual home in India.
Across every corner of India, young boys and girls are engaging in the game. However, can Sri Lanka really see off the famed Australians?
With the exception of a few South African batters, we are undoubtedly the best in the world.
The game may have been invented by England, but they belong to history. I’m confident that the Australians will reclaim the Ashes… but why are they pretending to compete against the Lankans?
Many years ago, in my youth, when India faced Ceylon, catching the ball proved to be a challenge for them. I recall their best bowler, Bunged Itin, struggling with tennis elbow during a match in Calcutta. He practiced daily with a table tennis racket, mastering the art of adding topspin to the ball.
The renowned Indian batter, Boundary Man, sent his spinning delivery soaring into the Indian Ocean. They managed to run forty-seven runs before a passing rickshaw alerted us about a ‘Lost Ball.’
The current Sri Lankan team has demonstrated exceptional talent during their Tour of Australia, and we genuinely fear they have acquired all the tricks of the Australians. We once thought sledging was an Olympic event, but it turns out it serves to pressure timid cricketers.
We have become accustomed to these strategies, providing our team with ample curry to rattle foreign players. We have issued a warning to all visiting teams… play fair, or we will resort to our Sepoy tactics.
Do you remember the black holes? We dig them on the run-up, and then we all collapse, transporting them to hospitals for ball trimming.
In England, people stroll on the grass and repair the divots left by horses. In India, we employ elephants to stomp down the grass and the black holes.
Maintain your knees and keep drinking those beers… and soon enough, you will also be as skilled as the famous googlies from Jaipur.
by Rahndi Ghit
