Buford says…AFL sucks

Yeeeeehaaaaa! My name’s Buford Balony and I’m a Wests Tigers supporter. You know, I just lurve tigers. If I’m not watching them, if I’m not dreaming about them, then I’m eatin’them. That’s right, me and my boy Cleedus go out a huntin’ and we go and catch ourselves a Tiger. We’re not too good at shootin’ and all, so we go and shoot the shit out them there tigers with our machine-guns.

Well, we don’t really go out shootin’ tigers, we go out and shoot those damn racoons. Now, I know them aint real tigers but I preeetend that they’re tigers, and my boy Cleedus don’t even know the difference…I tell him they’re tigers and he just lurves a killin’ them, and he sure lurves the taste of ’em.

You know, Cleedus is so dumb, I once told him that squirrels was aliens. I told him that they came down here millions of years ago…before all the dinosaurs ‘an all, before God made the Hill Billy, you know, a long, long time ago, and I told him that one day, them squirrels were gonna take over the world!

The only way to kill an alien squirrel is that once you’ve shot him, you’ve got to eat it…’course, only when mama’s cooked it up with BBQ sauce. Once that critter’s been BBQ’d, Cleedus can’t enough of alien squirrel. He asks for seconds and, hehe, he eats ’til he can’t eat no more. See, he never used to eat his squirrel when mama used to cook it for him…but he does now…Yeeeeehhhaaaaa!

Anyways, I now got me digital TV and I just lurve Australian sports. Apart from that there…what d’ya call it now…oh yeah…AFL.

I don’t know what it means but AFL must stand for Australian Fumble League. It seems to me that AFL sucks.I know you don’t wear the pads like those American Football fairies but the NRL is a real game…a mans game. Y’see, bein’ a NRL fan, we git to see some fightin’, some hard hittin’ and shit, we git to see some good Rugby…Yeeeeeehhaaaaaa!

So why don’t you AFL boys come and see what a proper sport is.

Jees, I’ve got to lay off the Rattle Snake Juice…whoooo…..it’s got one hell of a bite to it and it makes me go off on one.

Cleedus is always askin’ for some, but I won’t give him any…no sir-ee. I said I’d wait ’til he’s at least 8 years old.

Anyway, my Australian cousins, I’ve gotta go. Me and Cleedus is gonna machine-gun us some tigers for dinner….speak to ya soon…Yeeeehhaaaaa!

by Buford Balony


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