Yeeeeehaaaaa! The name’s Buford Balony, and I’m a big supporter of the Wests Tigers. You see, I just love tigers. If I’m not watching them or dreaming about them, then I’m eating them. That’s right, my buddy Cleedus and I head out hunting to catch ourselves a Tiger. We’re not exactly skilled with our shooting, so instead, we take our machine guns and go after those tigers instead.
Well, in reality, we’re actually hunting those pesky racoons. Now, I know they aren’t real tigers, but I pretend they are. Cleedus doesn’t even realize the difference…I tell him they’re tigers, and he just loves hunting them. He definitely enjoys the flavor too.
You know, Cleedus is kinda dim; once, I convinced him that squirrels were aliens. I
told him they had landed down here millions of years ago…before all the dinosaurs and before God created the Hill Billy, you get me? A long, long time ago, I mentioned that one day, those squirrels would take over the world!
The only way to deal with an alien squirrel is that once you’ve shot them, you must eat it…of course, only after mama’s cooked it with BBQ sauce. Once that critter’s been BBQ’d, Cleedus can’t get enough of alien squirrel. He’s always asking for seconds and, hehe, eats until he can’t eat any more. You see, he used to refuse to eat his squirrel when mama cooked it for him…but now? Yeeeeehhhaaaaa!
By the way, I just got me digital TV, and I simply love Australian sports. Other than that, what do ya call it…oh, right…AFL.
I’m not sure what it stands for, but I bet AFL means Australian Fumble League. To me, AFL sucks. I know they don’t wear pads like those American Football fairies, but the NRL is a real game…a man’s game. As an NRL fan, we get to see some fighting, some hard hitting, and pure Rugby…Yeeeeeehhaaaaaa!
So why don’t you AFL boys come and witness a proper sport?
Goodness, I really need to cut back on the Rattle Snake Juice…whoooo…..it sure packs a punch and makes me go on rants.
Cleedus keeps asking for some, but I won’t let him have any…no sir-ee. I promised to wait until he’s at least 8 years old.
Anyway, my Australian cousins, I gotta go. Cleedus and I are off to machine-gun some tigers for dinner….talk to ya soon…Yeeeehhaaaaa!
by Buford Balony
