YEEEEEHHAAAA!! That’s right, it’s Buford Balony here. What a pleasure it is to chat with my Australian cousins…yeeeehaaaa!
In the good ol’ U.S. of A, there’s something happening, and if I told ya, you wouldn’t believe it. WOMEN PLAYING AMERICAN FOOTBALL! And they’re suited up with little more than shoulder pads and helmets.
Now let me tell you, this is a positive development. I believe that women should have as much fun with sports as the guys do. Absolutely. I’m a changed man, and us men really need to rethink our ways. Heck, my woman can play any sport she desires, as long as she gets back home to whip up some tasty meals for Cleedus and me. Sure, BBQ-ing is a man’s task, but Cleedus’ mama makes the best BBQ around these parts of the deep south.
Now, this new lingerie football trend has started to mess with people’s minds, I tell ya. These women athletes are not only impressive; they sure look gorgeous as well. They could rival a $10…no, even a $20 lady of the night. And let me tell you, where I come from, that’s the peak of beauty…hell, some of them even have all their own teeth, good gracious.
And they play hard. If you’ve ever tuned into Jerry Springer, you’d know that American women can throw down better than the men.
Poor Cleedus—like I may have mentioned, he ain’t the brightest. I was puzzled when I invited him to join me for a hunting trip and he outright said no.
Not to worry, though—I had a blast. I returned with 5 squirrels and an exotic bird. I reckon the bird isn’t native to these parts, but Clayton the mechanic has quite the collection of exotic birds, and one must’ve escaped.
That bird was the prettiest I ever laid eyes on. It was yellow, purple, green, and it made the sweetest sound I ever heard from a creature. It perched about 4 meters away from me…and…well, I shot that exotic bird, since it had no business being around here.
On returning home with my bird and squirrels, I called out to Cleedus for help with skinning these critters. When he didn’t respond, I wandered into his bedroom.
What I saw there was astonishing…MY SON…decked out in stockings and suspenders, crotch-less panties paired with shoulder pads and an old St Louis Cardinals helmet! I could hardly believe my Alabama eyes…for starters, the shoulder pads were green and his panties were orange…THEY DIDN’T EVEN MATCH!
I’ve told Cleedus he can’t be rocking that nonsense… he needs to get the right look! So, his mama and I went and got him a Dallas Desire strip. If Cleedus is going to be wearing lingerie around the house, it ought to be for a team that his mama and I support. And let me tell ya, the Dallas Desire are currently leading the Western Conference. Yeeehaaaaa!
I think you should follow suit, my Australian cousins. You already know I’m a big NRL fan and I’m eagerly anticipating the play-offs, but I truly believe Lingerie AFL for women would be a massive hit.
The AFL may as well be a women’s game when compared to the amazing Australian NRL (go Wests Tigers).
Honestly, I think the women would outshine the men at AFL.
So this is a shout-out to you Ozzie women. I’m a new man now. Just give me a holler if you reckon Lingerie AFL would be a hit.
Plus, Cleedus might need a new strip. That Dallas one is getting a bit ripe as he seems to wear it far too often.
by Buford Balony