Buford Balony says…I lurve lingerie footy

YEEEEEHHAAAA!! Yep, it’s me, Buford Balony. And I must say that it’s great talking to you, my Australian cousins…yeeeehaaaa!

Here in the good ol U,S of A, we have this thing, and may God strike me down as I tell ya, you won’t believe it. WOMEN PLAYING AMERICAN FOOTBALL! and they’re playin with nuthin much more than shoulder pads and helmets.

You see, this is a good thing. I think that women should enjoy playin sport as much as men do. That’s right. I am a new man, and us men have sure gotta change our ways. Shit, my woman can play any sport as much as she godamn wants to, but as long as she gits back home to do the the cooking for me and my boy Cleedus. I know that BBQ-ing is a mans job, but Cleedus’ mama sure does the best BBQ here in the deep south.

But this new lingerie football has been messin with peoples brain, I tell ya. These women that play are athletes and they sure look pretty, too. Why they look as pretty as a $10…no…even $20 whore. And in my part of the world, they don’t come prettier than that…shit, some of them even have all their own teeth, godamnit.

And they play hard. If you ever watch Jerry Springer, you’d know that American women can fight better than American men.

Poor Cleedus, as I might’ve mentioned before, he ain’t too clever. I thought something was wrong when I asked him to come out a-huntin’ with me and he down right refused.

Don’t matter, I had a good time. I came back with 5 squirrels and an exotic bird. I don’t think the bird is endigenous to these parts but Clayton the mechanic keeps exotic birds and one must’ve escaped.

It sure was the most beautiful bird I have ever seen. It was yellow, purple, green and it made the most wonderful sound I had ever heard from a critter. It came and sat about 4 metres away from me…and…well, I shot the shit out of that there exotic bird…it shouldn’t be here anyway.

I got home with my bird and squirrels, walked in the kitchen and just shouted out to Cleedus to give me a hand in skinnin’ these critters. He didn’t answer me so I went into his bedroom.

There in front of me was my son…MY SON…wearing some stockings and suspenders, crotch-less panties with shoulder-pads and an old St Louis Cardinals helmut! I couldn’t quite believe my Alabama eyes…for a start, the shoulder-pads were green and his panties were orange…THEY DIDN’T EVEN MATCH!

I’ve told Cleedus that he can’t be wearin’ that shit…he’s gotta git the right colours, so me and his mama went and got him a Dallas Desire strip. If Cleedus is gonna be wearin lingerie around the house, it might as well be a team that me and his mama support. And let me tell ya, Dallas Desire are leading the Western Conference at the moment. Yeeehaaaaa!

I think you, my Australian cousins should be doing the same thing. You know me, I lurve NRL and I’m- a-waitin’ for the play-offs, but I think that Lingerie AFL for women would be a godamn winner.

The AFL might as well be a womens game, compared the wonderful Australian NRL (go Wests Tigers).

Personally, I think that the women would be better than the men at AFL.

So this is a message that’s goin’ out to you Ozzie women. Coz I am a new man. Just you let me know if you think Lingerie AFL would be a winner.

Also, Cleedus could have a new strip. A new AFL lingerie strip. The Dallas one’s gettin’ kinda smelly as I think he wears it far too much.

by Buford Balony


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