You Know You are Getting Old When…..

There are a number of signs or clues to look for that may warn you that you are getting old. I have drawn up a list that I feel may help anyone with any doubts to identify for certain that they are finally “over the hill” and perhaps accept the fact that old age has finally arrived and that it is not so bad to have finally turned into the Grandparent that you once adored, (whilst possibly occasionally having a giggle at with the rest of your family!!!!)

When you start to complain that you can ” not understand the words in today’s music”.

When you look through your car steering wheel, rather than over it!

When you stop wearing high heels and always choose “comfortable” shoes instead, (Ladies only I hope!!!).

When your shopping list includes corn plasters, haemorrhoid cream and incontinence underwear.

When your idea of an exciting sport is Bowls.

When you find that you are stopped by the Police for driving your car too slowly rather than for speeding!

When you get on the bus and people you think of as “old“, offer you their seat!

When “Steradent” is in your bathroom cabinet instead of toothpaste!

When your ideal bed companion is your hot water bottle!

When you have to get your neighbours to come round and open the lid to your pickle jar.

When you invest in a small trolley to hold your shopping so that you can drag it home afterwards.

When you decide a “blue rinse” is the ideal hair colour.

When your ideal night out is to play “Bingo”.

When you can no longer cut your own toenails.

When you and your Doctor are on first name terms.

When you get complaints from your neighbours that your TV is too loud.

When you find that your adult children are suddenly taller than you, (yet they never were up until a few years ago), plus your previously knee length skirt now reaches your ankles!

When sex between you and your partner is an annual event, (and then only if you can manage it without needing to call out an ambulance afterwards).

When you have to get everyone to repeat everything twice and complain that they all talk too quietly.

When every new electronic gadget to come on to the market seems an impossible challenge to use without asking the nearest 7 year old to show you how it works, (and even then you can’t remember half of what they said).

When you begin receiving those “Over 50 Funeral Plan” offers.

When you begin collecting cats.

And Finally………

When you realise that suddenly your children have become your parents and are now doing everything for you that you used to do for them!!!


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