Whilst conversing with my brother he mentioned the Lancaster 4 barrelled pistol (don’t ask me HOW we came to discuss such, it just happened, we’re brothers the range of subjects we will discuss and the jumps of topic are limitless and completely illogical to non-Aborwhear’s). Got home and thought I would look it up, after doing so searched a few more sites and came to an American one that sells guns.
Now when I was younger, I went through a phase of being fascinated with medieval weaponry, black powder arms and guns in general prior to 1900. So had a wander round the site and found they also sold walking stick and umbrellas with concealed swords in them. I think there may be something terribly wrong with me but I find the idea (as opposed to the reality) of an umbrella sword really cool, I blame the Avengers.This led to in a rambling way to my great uncle Richard or Dick as he was commonly called (RIP) who lived on a fairly remote small town west of bum-fuck. When he and his wife were getting on in years they were increasingly plagued by dodgy characters who would drive down the long unpaved lane (opening the closed gate and ignoring the private sign) to their house and either attempt to offer them paltry sums for items in their yard or just try to steal stuff, this was when their Rottweiler, Doberman and Jack Russell (surprisingly enough the pack leader) weren’t nearby. Now, he always kept his shotguns in the secure cabinet that the law instructs, apart from the one he kept (unloaded) under his bed, the shells for which he kept in his bedside drawer. After telling some suspicious characters to “get off my land” earlier one day, he heard a car driving up the lane at midnight, suffering from rheumatoid arthritis at this stage he loaded the shotgun when still in bed opened the window and fired into the air, he said he could tell be the noise that the van reversed very quickly indeed.
This also led me to remember that he kept a parrot whose vocabulary included “Time to get up Dick” when he passed away the family had to give the parrot to another family.
No idea why I wrote this, a completely pointless ramble of recollection.
by Jim Aborwhear