Facts about Australia that foreigners should know

Australia was actually Britain’s first attempt at a penal colony. What isn’t mentioned is that they stopped using it once they discovered that it was a lot cheaper to ship people off to Ireland and just steal their potatoes until the Irish got so depressed that they emigrated to America and became crooked cops.

Australia was originally a British penal colony for exiled thieves and murderers. It is not to be confused with France, which was originally a British penal colony for the cowardly and annoying.

Australia eventually outgrew its shady past and evolved into a modern civilized nation, France has yet to make that particular leap.

The basic units of Australian currency are giant cans of beer, which explains why Australian men have gargantuan arm muscles.

The central portion of Australia is a dry, barren wasteland containing nothing of interest. Think of it as the real-world equivalent of a soap opera.


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