Anecdotal thoughts of Jim Aborwhear

Had a meeting today, there are some cases that are marked to a barcode location that ceased to exist in 2007.
Manager “What do you suggest Jim?”

JA – “Well I’ve checked 10%, none have any mention on the comp records that they are anything to do with us, were ever with us or that we ever had them, or where they are and there’s NFA on them.
M –  “That’s right”
JA –  “They are marked to a location that ceased to exist in 2007and have no physical location that can be searched”
M –  “That’s correct”
JA –  “We have no idea where they are and we cannot look for them?”
M –  “Yes”
JA –  “Well with my limited knowledge of English that would seem to make them lost”
M –  “Yes”
JA –  “Well I would declare them as lost after a check with layby and archive”
M –  “No we can’t do that, they’re not lost they must be somewhere, we have to find them”
JA –  “Your definition of lost seems different to mine and in fact all other English speakers, everything that is lost, is somewhere, it’s our inability to find it that defines it as lost”
M –  “Just because we don’t know where they are doesn’t mean they’re lost”
JA –  “Erm I’m rather afraid it does, do you want me to get my pocket Dictionary”
M –  “I need you to organise a search”
JA –  “I could put up wanted posters”?
M –  “Be serious”
JA –  “You’ll never know the effort it takes me”
M –  ”I’m telling you to organise a search?”
JA –  “It shall be done as you command my illogical Magnificence, Mountains high and Oceans deep”
M –  ”Haven’t you got anything helpful to add?”

It was at the point when I picked up my pen waved it like a wand and said “lost cases revealo” that the meeting was called to a halt (I still think it was worth a go, it worked at Hogwarts!).

by Jim Aborwhear