Good evening to everyone.
I’ve quit my job at the warehouse…there are just too many idiots working there. It’s not the labor force…they’re all my friends. It’s the management and project overseers that I can’t stand any longer. The politics in the warehouse are making me miserable, so I decided to leave.
Now, I work at a pizza shop.
I spend my days making pizzas, and sometimes I deliver them at night.
One night while making pizzas, a woman came into the shop to place an order. I offered to personally prepare her pizza.
She just batted her eyelashes at me and left an address for delivery in about half an hour. Since I was finishing work around that time, it seemed perfect for me to take the pizza to her, and then head home.
When I arrived at her house, it was an upscale place, and she welcomed me inside.
Immediately, she began to undress, prompting me to do the same. There she was, looking better than a $10 hooker.
And there I was…in the nude.
Almost instantly, she went down on me…which turned out to be a huge mistake on her part.
You see, I had been working tirelessly day and night for quite a few days, had gotten drunk, and hadn’t really washed or showered.
Honestly, the old fella wasn’t smelling too fresh.
Well, she came up for air, hesitated…and then it happened. She became sick all over my leg, and ball-bag, and everything. The odor, and likely the taste, had made her ill.
She freaked out and insisted she wouldn’t pay for the pizza. I quickly grabbed it, gathered some of my clothes, dashed for the front door, hopped in my car, and drove home.
As soon as I got inside, the first thing I did was take a shower. Then, I kicked back and opened a Cabernet Sauvignon from an excellent vintage. I felt quite at ease lounging in my dressing gown while watching Spicks and Specks. I considered eating the ‘unpaid’ pizza, but then I started fiddling with my fresh ball-bag, pulled out my throbbing tool, and RUINED that pizza…I messed it up so badly that I couldn’t even tell if there were anchovies on it!
Wishing you a truly wonderful evening.
by Tony
