Masturbation isn’t illegal…just don’t use your gun

When I encounter a topless woman, I’m more likely to reach out to my friends than call the police.

A tipster in a hotel parking lot in Naperville, Ill., prompted the police to discover a woman who was in a van nude from the waist up.

The 44-year-old Vicki Myers explained to the police that she was at the hotel with her sons and simply required some “alone” time.

According to the police report, Myers later admitted to engaging in self-pleasure while seated in the car, which explained the presence of various “adult items that were used for self-pleasuring.”

However, the police also found a loaded Sig Sauer semi-automatic pistol tucked beneath her seat. One can only be thankful that she didn’t mix up the two.

Fortunately, masturbation is not illegal at this time, but the law enforcement certainly took issue with the loaded semi-automatic pistol situation.

As a result, Myers was arrested and charged with unlawful possession of a firearm…and it’s likely that she will face some rather uncomfortable conversations ahead.

by Harry Harper

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