THE DUKE OF EDINBURGH’S GREATEST HITS
‘You look like you’re ready for bed!’ This comment was directed at the President of Nigeria, who donned traditional robes.
‘Ah, so this is feminist corner then.’ Stated to a group of female Labour MPs during a drinks event at Buckingham Palace in 2000.
‘You have mosquitoes. I have the Press.’ Said to the matron of a Caribbean hospital.
‘Do you still throw spears at each other?’ Inquired of Aboriginal leader William Brin during a visit to the Aboriginal Cultural Park in Queensland, 2002.
‘How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?’ Addressed to a Scottish driving instructor in 1995.
‘What do you gargle with — pebbles?’ Asked Tom Jones after the Royal Variety Performance in 1969. He later remarked: ‘It is very difficult at all to see how it is possible to become immensely valuable by singing what I think are the most hideous songs.’
‘You managed not to get eaten then?’ To a British student who was trekking in Papua New Guinea during an official visit in 1998.
‘I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.’ A statement made in 1967 when questioned about the possibility of visiting the Soviet Union.
‘People think there’s a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.’ This observance was shared in 2000.
‘If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes.’ Directed to a British student visiting China in 1986.
‘British women can’t cook.’ This comment endeared him to the Scottish Women’s Institute in 1961.
‘You are a woman, aren’t you?’ This was asked of a Kenyan woman in 1984 after receiving a state gift.
‘I wish he’d turn the microphone off!’ A remark made during Elton John’s performance at the 73rd Royal Variety Show in 2001.
‘If you travel as often as we do, you develop an appreciation for the advancements in aircraft design, which offer less noise and more comfort, assuming you don’t fly in something called economy class, which sounds ghastly.’ This was said to the Aircraft Research Association in 2002.
‘You didn’t design your beard too well, did you? You really must try better with your beard.’ This comment was made to a young fashion designer at Buckingham Palace in 2009.
‘It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from her school art lessons.’ This was his response upon viewing an exhibition of ‘primitive’ Ethiopian art in 1965.
by Robbo Green
