Melt proof choccy biccy’s – what a waste of money

Man has been on the moon, and made countless advances in medicine and now scientists have been issued a new challenge…the melt-proof choccie biscuit.

Understanding what is happening to chocolate at a molecular levels is enabling overpaid scientists with fuck all else to do, to develop chocolate that does not melt in warm climates. This is ‘apparently’ crucial for extending the market.

Melt proof chocolate biscuits are a total waste of time and moneyIt’s been reported that nearly $100million is to be spent on funding this research…which is, in anyone’s terms…fucking ridiculous.

People buy biscuits because they like the taste of them, or because their grand-parents used to eat a particular brand. And let’s face it, people are so fat and greedy nowadays, the chocolate biscuit wouldn’t be in anyone’s hand long enough before being consumed by a fattie.

I can’t apologise for being politically incorrect in describing obese people. Being fat is not a virus and it’s not because you are ‘big boned’…the dinosaurs are the only ones who have the right to call themselves big boned.

Cadbury has already developed Dairy Milk bars that it claims remain solid even when left in 40C heat for three hours. This, of course, will be good when importing and exporting biscuits, but this is hardly a life-saving discovery.

But while it’s good for sales and shelf life, every time you buy one, you’ll now be thinking what some nerdy scientist got paid for spending his time developing this completely useless idea…what a waste of time and money.

by Sel Hurst


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