For over 40 years, a woman with both male and female sex organs lived as a man, unaware that she was born a hermaphrodite due to her parents’ decision to keep this information from her for two decades.
Caroline Kinsey has spent nearly all of her life identifying as a man because her parents concealed her intersex medical condition until she turned 19.
Her upbringing was under the name Carl John Baker, following surgery she underwent as an infant.
After enduring years of bullying in school and believing that ‘everyone else’s body resembled hers’, her parents eventually disclosed the truth about her condition when she was 19.
Following a brief, unsuccessful marriage to a woman and a phase of depression, Caroline made the decision to start dressing as a woman two years ago and now aims to embrace a permanent ‘female persona’.
She shared that her parents kept her condition a secret ‘for as long as possible’ based on medical guidance and because they ‘didn’t know any better’.
‘From a young age, I felt different without understanding why,’ she stated.
‘A doctor advised my mother against letting me discover my first birthright, the opportunity to be a woman, prioritizing my second birthright of being a man,’
‘The doctor mentioned it would be simpler to conceal my female genitalia than my male genitalia, and that is how they proceeded, knowing no alternative,’ she added.
‘They were also told to keep my reality hidden from me and the rest of the world for as long as possible.’
Born in 1968 at Bull Hill Hospital, Darwen, Lancashire, she was the child of Monica and Rudolph Baker.
However, their joy was dampened when a nurse informed them that their newborn daughter also possessed male genitalia.
Raised as Carl John Baker in their family home in Darwen, she faced additional hardships when, in 1970, she and her younger brother Martin were taken into care after social workers found them left alone at home.
She recalled, ‘I had a voice that sounded quite feminine, but I was never informed I was different from anyone else; I thought everyone’s body was like mine.’
After turning 19, Caroline reconnected with her family. ‘Not long after I returned, my mom mentioned she had something significant to share with me.’
‘She asked me to sit down and brought out my baby book. Inside were photographs of me as a baby and information about my birth.’
‘She began narrating the day I was born along with the nurse’s reactions.’
‘Suddenly, everything started to click into place; throughout my life, people had sensed I was different.’
‘She explained that they followed the doctors’ advice because they truly didn’t understand any better.’
Caroline continued to live as a man, working as a kitchen porter in various restaurants and pubs.
She briefly experienced marriage, but the relationship ended not long after the wedding.
She found herself descending into depression and, as a last-ditch effort to improve her mood, she began dressing as a woman two years ago.
‘Initially, it felt quite odd since I had only ever been familiar with dressing as a man. But veryI quickly came to the realization that it was the correct choice for me.
Caroline mentioned that she continues to face challenges in gaining acceptance for her new identity.
She remarked: ‘Having grown up as a boy, I shouldn’t have had to deal with the secrets that were concealed from me.
‘For 41 years, I felt uncomfortable in men’s clothing, so I made the decision to embrace a challenge and wear women’s clothing instead.’
‘The first dress I donned was a pink one when I walked to the job center, and people began to stare and say, ‘what an idiot’.
‘However, since that year, I have embraced wearing women’s clothing because I acknowledged that I am a true woman.’
‘I now feel the happiest I have ever been. I feel healthy and choose not to dwell on my past, as I have no desire to remember it.’
‘Many members there accept me for who I am and understand how embodying my female persona has contributed to my happiness and balance, while others continue to be unkind.’
‘I am currently considering surgery to permanently remove my male genitalia.
‘I hope this will allow me to leave my past behind and help me move forward in finding love.’
Intersex advocacy groups emphasize that public misunderstandings about the condition are common.
Dr. Jay Hayes-Light, director of the UK Intersex Association, stated: ‘Being intersex is not a lifestyle choice; it is a medical condition.’
‘Caroline’s situation exemplifies that of an intersex child who was unaware of their condition.’
‘A lack of understanding leads the public to often confuse intersex individuals with transgender individuals.’
‘Discrimination against intersex individuals often manifests as unreported abuses within a minority that families have kept secret for generations.’
‘Gay individuals are now, rightly so, embraced by society and hold the right to live freely within the community. Intersex individuals deserve these same rights.
‘I support Caroline’s call for greater tolerance and hope people come to understand that her condition is inherited, not chosen.’
INTERSEX: A STATE BEYOND SIMPLE MALE OR FEMALE
The term ‘Intersex’ describes a condition affecting one in every 5,000 births in Australia (with actual rates potentially being higher), leading to around 10,000 intersex individuals in the country.
Several anomalies are recognized that can result in particular sexual ambiguities.
The so-called ‘XX male syndrome’ occurs in individuals with two X chromosomes, one of which carries a considerable amount of genetic material from a Y chromosome.
These individuals may appear male but are genetically female. Typically, they will possess male sex organs, which are often underdeveloped.
Additionally, they may develop breasts and maintain a higher-pitched voice.
Biologists now acknowledge a range of conditions—both genetic and otherwise—under the umbrella term ‘intersex’, which has replaced outdated labels such as ‘hermaphrodite’.
Intersex individuals may be genetically female but exhibit male physiology. Some may be true hermaphrodites, generating both eggs and sperm.
Many have undergone ‘gender reassignment surgery’ shortly after birth, with varying degrees of success.
by John Jackson
