Weeks ago, there was an attempted abduction and vandalism, but now bold thieves have stolen Fatso The Fat Arsed Wombat from his pedestal outside ANZ Stadium at Homebush.
Fatso gained worldwide recognition as the mascot for HG Nelson and Roy Slaven’s show during the 2000 and 2004 Olympics, where he was commemorated in bronze.
However, his statue disappeared following Sunday’s grand final, leaving his former “boss” HG Nelson, now part of Triple M’s The Life, feeling as though he might need to be hospitalized after receiving such distressing news. HG worried that Fatso may be taken captive.
“Perhaps a ransom note will come, threatening his demise unless $1.27 million is delivered at 5.05pm Saturday at the Mount Keira carpark above Wollongong,” he speculated.
HG has pledged to assemble a skilled team of ex-footballer police officers, including Craig Young, Paul Sironen, Paul Dunn, and the individual he dubbed “detective-wannabe” Brendan Fevola to solve the mystery.
“They’ve prepared sniffer dogs and are merely awaiting the green light from the authorities at Olympic Park, who have been rather slow,” shared HG.
Nevertheless, another possibility remains: Fatso could have made a getaway.
“I genuinely think he may have just walked off the stand—strange occurrences like that can happen, and it wouldn’t astonish me if he’s come to life,” he remarked.
“He might have just stormed off in frustration—his ego grew so large during his time with us that we could hardly take him anywhere.
“He is essentially a useless issue—his only activities involve munching on roots and leaves, and maybe he took offense at being excluded from the 10th anniversary of the Olympics.”
