Fat blokes must get pissed off when they can’t see their penis

A hefty 76% of 9 million people who started a diet this year will give up by the end of February.

A survey was done by Nescafé.

There’s a bloke I used to work with, and he was so fat, he used to take a fold up chair with him on smoko…so he can sit down!

The guy probably hasn’t seen his dick for years, and surely, surely when you can’t see, and maybe just about feel ones penis, it has to be a sure sign that the weight has to go.

I like my penis…I’m not in love with him, but when I have a piss, I kind of, you know, like to look down and at least look at him.

I suppose it’s a bit like meeting one of your mates for a coffee before you start work.

I remember a fat bloke on the Jerry Springer show who had to have his wall cut out of his house so he could be taken to hospital. He had something like five bargain buckets at KFC everyday.

Couldn’t he at least have had three buckets a day?

It would have been a start.

Food is shit these days, and it only usually tastes good when it’s covered in a sauce with natural ingredients like garlic, tomato, paprika etc…anything to take the taste away from the bland rubbish that the food actually tastes like…which has so many preservatives to make it larger, so they can charge more money.

This really is a case of quality not quantity.

Having said all of that…after a hangover, there’s nothing quite like cold, greasy fatty leftovers from the bargain bucket that you couldn’t eat the night before.

I’m not a doctor, but there’s nothing wrong with fast food…but not as a lifestyle.

by Sel Hurst


Join our mailing list to receive the latest news directly in your email inbox.