Below is our proposed solution for addressing Australia’s economic issues.
Rather than allocating billions to banks that waste funds on extravagant events and undeserved bonuses, we suggest the following plan, which can be named the Patriotic Retirement Plan. With approximately 10 million individuals over 50 in the workforce, we propose providing them with a severance package of $1 million each for early retirement, under the following conditions:
1) They MUST retire. This would result in ten million available job openings, effectively resolving unemployment.
2) They MUST purchase a new Australian vehicle. This would generate orders for ten million cars, revitalizing the car industry.
3) They MUST either acquire a home or pay off their mortgage. This would tackle the housing crisis.
4) They MUST enroll their children in school, college, or university. This would lead to a reduction in the crime rate.
5) They MUST spend $100 on alcohol/tobacco weekly, ensuring the return of funds through duties and taxes.
6) Rather than spending time on the carbon emissions trading scheme that forces us to subsidize major polluters, we should demand that these companies reduce their emissions by 75% within five years, or face shutdown.
P.S. Should additional funds be necessary, members of parliament could reimburse their improperly claimed expenses and second home allowances.
by Mike Hansom
