Sting, you don’t have to come to Australia

Sting is continuing his tour, Symphonicity, to Australia and New Zealand.

But really, does he have to? We’re doing quite alright without Sting bestowing his bollocky nonsense upon us.

The pretentious star is kicking his Aussie leg of the tour on January 22 in Perth, followed by performances in the Barossa Valley, Melbourne and at the Sydney Opera House.

The tour will also make stops in the Hunter Valley and Brisbane, before continuing to Christchurch and the Napier Valley.

Sting is performing his greatest hits with a symphonic arrangement, which means that when we thought that Sting couldn’t possibly get any more up his own arse…I mean, he’s really out-done himself this time.

“I am looking forward to performing in Australia and New Zealand, having a whole new palate of musical colours to work with and reinventing the songs that have been the staples of my live shows for over thirty years,” Sting said.

That’s right…Sting is reinventing his songs. The fact is, most of us wished he’d never invented them in the first place.

Sting was the main writer in The Police and they have had a some good hits. Andy Summers is a great guitarist…not a great rock guitarist but he’s excellent at what he does.

Stewart Copeland was the drummer and is an absolutely fantastic drummer. I saw The Doors in London a few years back with Ian Astbury from The Cult being the lead singer who did a good job. Stewart Copeland was the drumming for The Doors and reciprocated John Densmore exactly. In some respects he was better.

Sting was the bass player. I don’t think that he’s a great bass player. In fact, I don’t even think that he was a good bass player. But it’s funny, in the songs he wrote, he had two great musicians behind him. And on his orchestral symphonic tour, or whatever he calls it, he’ll have great musicians behind him once again.

I don’t mean to have a go at him, he’s made his mark in music, so good luck to him…really. But if he turns up with the chief of a tribe from some undiscovered land…well, I don’t know the bloke, so I don’t know what he gets out of being pretentious.

But music is opinionated. So, if you like him, you like him. And I’m sure it’ll be a wonderful evening for all… especially if you like smarmy, egotistical wankers.

But if you’re asking me to tell you when the tickets are on sale, then please look on another web-page, or better still…just don’t go.

by Wallace McTavish


Join our mailing list to receive the latest news directly in your email inbox.