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James is a gormless looking Blunt with horse-teeth

By Wallace McTavish

During his time as a soldier, James Blunt prevented World War 3.

Not only does he possess a set of teeth that could make any Melbourne Cup runner envious, but he also happens to be quite a clueless individual.

Serving as a cavalry officer amid the Balkans conflict, Blunt received orders to eliminate 2000 troops.

Let’s be honest; with those teeth, he could likely destroy just about anything.

Even better…if he starts singing, everyone would instantly surrender. Anything to put an end to that Blunt’s noise.

When the Russians took control of an airport in Kosovo, Blunt was instructed to expel them by any means possible.

Nato’s US general, Wesley Clark, received backing from Britain’s general, Sir Mike Jackson. Blunt informed both of them that he had no intention of igniting World War 3 for their sake.

It raises the question: how did the British Army allow someone with as gormless an appearance as Blunt’s to enlist?

In 2002, the singer departed from the army to follow a music career and achieved fame with the song ‘You’re Beautiful’, which could have been better titled ‘I’m a Blunt with big fuck-off horse teeth’.

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