Research conducted by ThePicnicProject.com, a matchmaking service, reveals that over half a million women prefer to date mature divorced men instead of younger partners… with 30,000 single women in Australia actively seeking men who have experienced a failed marriage.
In the eyes of a Puma, the attributes making divorcees more desirable include increased relationship experience, a higher chance of being sensitive to their partner’s emotional needs, and a history of demonstrated commitment. However, skeptics might contend that the Puma’s perspective is driven more by hope than reality, as these men, despite having expressed their willingness to enter marriage, have not succeeded in making their previous unions work and often come with significant emotional baggage.
Regardless of the reason, Kate Slogget, the founder of The Picnic Project—an elite dating agency with annual membership costs starting at $5,000—affirms that the demand for men who possess relationship experience is at an all-time high.
She states: ‘Divorce no longer holds the stigma it used to. In fact, we are noticing an increasing number of female members communicating their desire for a man with experience, whether that means a divorced man or someone older.’
Prominent Pumas include Brian Ferry’s second wife Amanda Sheppard, who, at age 29, is 36 years younger than him, and Paul McCartney’s third wife Nancy Shevell, 51, who is 17 years younger than the former Beatle. Sabine expresses her happiness in her relationship with Steve, who has a 21-year-old son from his first marriage and a two-year-old boy from his third, aspires for them to get married and have children together in the future.
‘As someone who has been divorced, it becomes evident how things could have been approached differently,’ he acknowledges. ‘The most effective way to learn is through gained experience, and if you’re still on the lookout for love, you’re likely to put in more effort during your next relationship.’
Denise Knowles, a relationship counselor at Relate, asserts that divorcees tend to be more inclined to settle down compared to those who have never engaged in committed relationships, which can heighten their attractiveness to women, particularly when facing the pressures of fertility clocks. ‘Having been married, you understand the joy of being someone’s significant other—even if it didn’t work out—and you’re often eager to have that experience again,’ she adds.
‘Surviving a divorce gives men a better understanding of their needs and desires in a relationship, and they may be more open to discussing those, which can be attractive during dates. However, women should be prepared for the complexities that may arise when dating a divorcee, especially with children involved.’
At times, a man only matures into a true adult after experiencing fatherhood and enduring heartache, like divorce.
Dr. Alistair Ross, a chartered psychologist focused on interpersonal relationships at King’s College in London, notes that some divorcees may be more cautious about committing than those who have never entered marriage.
‘The aftermath of a divorce can require healing, but the majority maintain a positive outlook regarding the prospect of a happy future with another partner,’ states Dr. Ross. ‘With rising divorce rates, women seeking to settle down with partners in their 30s and older are increasingly finding themselves considering divorcees, given their sheer numbers. On a positive note, such men already know how to manage home life and shared finances, unlike many men in their 30s who may lack responsibility. For a woman contemplating settling down and potentially having children, a divorcee could appear to be a more appealing option.’
Denise Knowles from Relate emphasizes that divorced men can only be deemed a viable choice if they have thoroughly reflected on why their marriages ended. ‘Even better are those who have identified ways they could have potentially avoided divorce,’ Knowles adds. ‘These are the individuals who can truly bring valuable experience into a new relationship.’
by Susan Floyd
