Bookshelves are overflowing with them.
I’m not one to look down on others, and I enjoy flipping through a scandalous gossip magazine, but do I really need a detailed tour of a celebrity’s (or their spouse’s) womb and nursery every time they’re expecting? Becoming a mother is truly amazing, but it’s hardly extraordinary.
It seems that even the most mundane pregnancies are enough to inspire celebrities to put pen to paper. You might think they believe they are the only women on Earth who have ever experienced this.
So, are these books pointless? Not necessarily.
While I lack scientific proof, I am convinced that getting pregnant with your first child transforms your brain. Regardless of how many prams we have admired or mothers we have encountered, it seems our minds completely reset, tricking us into thinking we are now the exclusive creators of the universe.
In fact, I believe that every new mother would pen a book if there was a chance someone would read it. We are so overwhelmed by the entire experience—the highs and the lows—that we feel the need to discuss it extensively. The journey of watching our belly expand with this foreign being (and contemplating the act of giving birth) is profoundly life-changing.
Nowadays, nothing bores me more than endless discussions about the advantages and disadvantages of letting babies use pacifiers… crying it out… breastfeeding versus bottle-feeding… Honestly, I really couldn’t care less.
When I was expecting, I didn’t come across any celebrity mommy memoirs, but I did consume every guidebook I could find. Most of them were disappointing. For example, they suggested performing pelvic floor exercises 400 times a day while sipping on a wheatgrass power shake… although, to be fair, the pelvic exercises are essential… unless you want to end up with a bucket minge.
I know that women have stressed for months due to an errant serving of sherry trifle at Aunt Doreen’s birthday party or inadvertently standing near someone smoking.
However, if a celebrity pregnancy book helps you navigate these challenges, go ahead and pick one up… but please spare the rest of us from the details. Because most of us really couldn’t care less.
Remember, pregnancy is not an illness.
by Susan Floyd
