A mother of four has opened up regarding her experience with an Orthodox Jewish community, detailing her six-year struggle in an abusive arranged marriage.
Pearlperry Reich, aged 30, describes being coerced into an arranged marriage with Sinai Meir Sholz in Borough Park, Brooklyn, New York, and mentions that there were ‘issues’ from the beginning.
Currently, she is still working to finalize her divorce as her husband continues to contest it, accusing her of misconduct for wearing trousers and labeling her as ‘promiscuous.’
Ms. Reich described her marriage as both emotionally and physically abusive.
She alleges that her husband insulted her in front of their children by calling her a ‘slut,’ mutilated one of her $4,000 wigs, and threatened her by saying she was ‘playing with fire’ for wanting to leave the Orthodox community.
While Ms. Reich is venturing into a modeling and acting career, she asserts that her husband is attempting to depict her as unstable and promiscuous to secure custody of their children.
However, she presents a contrasting perspective, affirming that she intends to raise her children within an Orthodox environment, despite her own lack of respect for the teachings of the Orthodox faith.
A significant point of contention in the custody battle is whether Ms. Reich, aged 30, is strict enough, with her choice to wear trousers being a considerable issue.
‘I always dress in pants and am openly non-conforming to their standards, but NEVER in front of my children,’ she communicated in an email.
Given the controversy surrounding her trousers, she may face further challenges as some of her modeling photographs have a sexually suggestive nature.
Her ex-husband, whom she claims was abusive both physically and emotionally throughout their marriage, continues to deny her a legal or Jewish divorce unless she consents to relinquish custody of their children.
Throughout their marriage, he not only destroyed her $4,000 wig but also insulted her in front of their kids.
On at least one occasion, he referred to her as a ‘slut’ in front of their daughters.
Ms. Reich mentioned that while her husband was abusive, she refrained from detailing the full extent of the abuse. It was evidently serious enough for her to obtain a restraining order after he sent her a threatening text message.
‘You are playing with fire, and by the time you realize it, it will be too late,’ the text stated.
After leaving him five years ago, she relocated from Brooklyn to Lakewood, New Jersey, feeling it to be more accepting.
‘I differ significantly from the accepted orthodoxy level in the Lakewood community and have since become much more liberal and open-minded,’ she expressed.
She also mentioned that she is in a relationship, and her ex’s lawyers assert that she is acting inappropriately by kissing her boyfriend in front of their four children.
She clarified that while she may not consistently adhere to the religious rules, she is careful to do so when her children are around.
‘I maintain a 100 percent Kosher home concerning the kids,’ she stated.
Additionally, she noted that since leaving her husband five years ago, she has been primarily responsible for their children’s upbringing.The couple has four children, aged 5, 7, 8, and 9 years old.
Adding complexity to the case’s legal issues, the couple entered into a beth din, a specific contract issued by rabbinical courts, which stated they would share custody and that she would raise the children according to Orthodox teachings.
Now, she claims that she was unaware of what she was signing and seeks to overturn the decision.
Having left the close-knit religious community, she has felt very isolated during this ordeal, with even her parents turning against her.
‘My father gave me a very hard time. He didn’t want me to get divorced, period,’ she shared with The New York Post.
‘They discouraged me from filing police reports about the abuse… my father, the rabbis, and my husband’s family… his parents arranged a meeting with my parents. They called me a bitch and a whore, and my parents accepted it.’
Now, she hopes her case garners enough attention and sympathy to annul the agreement she signed in rabbinical court that grants her husband joint custody.
‘It’s more than emotionally draining – it’s psychological, mental,’ she stated.
Ms. Reich’s struggle comes just a week after the announcement that another woman named Deborah Feldmen, who also left the Orthodox lifestyle, has written a memoir recounting her experiences in an ultra-conservative marriage.
Instead of writing a book, Ms. Reich is utilizing social media to share her story.
Her Facebook support group has already attracted over 2,000 followers, and she has created a Facebook Causes page to raise funds for her ongoing legal battle.
by Susan Floyd