One morning, while listening to the radio alongside my colleague Buford Balony, I heard someone proclaim, ‘The world’s tragedy is this…men love women, women love children, and children love hamsters.’
‘Hummph,’ he replied: ‘The actual tragedy is that men love women, but women adore handbags.’
He had a valid point. Countless women possess a deep passion for handbags…and shopping in general…a sentiment that the average red-blooded male finds difficult to understand.
On the infrequent occasions that he ventures shopping, I’m sure Buford makes his purchases as swiftly and economically as possible so he can return to more pressing activities, like watching rugby.
As for me? I shop when I’m happy. I shop while I’m sad. I shop when I feel overweight and when I feel slim, whether I’ve had a rough day at work or a great one.
My modest collection of handbags is innocuous, since I saved up for my one luxurious item, and I’m financially secure.
Yet, some of my friends have plunged themselves into alarming debt due to shopping. One friend, a flourishing businesswoman, finds herself broke by the month’s end, despite her generous income, often ending up borrowing from her partner to settle bills.
Her closets overflow with Louboutins and shelves are brimming with cashmere…yet she’s burdened by her credit card dues and lacks any financial security.
Conversely, I have female friends who enjoy the same financial stability as I do, yet would never contemplate squandering their money on handbags — or any other indulgence. They meticulously track every penny and deny themselves even the tiniest of pleasures. They are unable to savor the fruits of their hard-earned money.
My husband prompts me to consider…are countless women ensnared in a maladjusted relationship — not with a partner, but with their finances?
Experts assert that our spending, saving, and investing habits are frequently influenced by deep-rooted psychological issues regarding self-worth, security, and status. Terms such as ‘retail therapy’ and ‘shopaholic’ have even been borrowed from the therapy realm to describe our spending behaviors.
A research study conducted by Professor Karen Pine, the author of Sheconomics, a book discussing women and finances, reveals that many women utilize shopping as an emotional escape.
Eight out of ten confess to spending when they feel down or hitting the shops to make up for something missing in their lives.
Financial specialists indicate another female group treats money as a security blanket and lives on a self-imposed austerity plan.
While it’s preferable to going into bankruptcy, they still allow negative emotions about money to dominate their lives.
According to Professor Pine, women tend to fear risks more and are less financially savvy than men. ‘Women are more emotionally engaged with money compared to men and carry more worries, fears, and anxieties,’ she remarks.
The positive takeaway is that by comprehending the role of female psychology, we can cultivate a more rewarding relationship with our finances.
‘It’s not about having wealth — many affluent women struggle with self-defeating mindsets,’ states Gina Miller of SCM Financial Planning, who focuses on providing financial guidance for women. ‘Regardless of their income level, women can harness their emotional intelligence to identify their core values and then strategize how to use their finances to achieve those values.’
Developing a healthy relationship with your finances involves navigating the ‘Four Fs’ — fantasy, fear, focus, and freedom.
by Susan Floyd
