There’s an undeniable charm in embracing ‘average’ with all its imperfections… and although society often labels men as looks-obsessed and critical, they genuinely agree.
Indeed, their preference leans towards average women.
Numerous studies indicate that while men may claim to prioritize physical attractiveness, their real-life interactions reveal they are much more influenced by personality than they openly admit.
A speed dating study (published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology) involving 163 college students concluded that the ‘spark’ held more importance for men than looks, and a follow-up study reinforced the idea that an emotional ‘connection’ is valued over ‘sexiness’.
I witnessed this in action at a party just last week.
While I observed my friend’s new boyfriend, she was engaged in conversation with others, radiating beauty.
“Your girlfriend is incredibly hot!” I remarked to him, taking in her slim figure, lush long hair, attractive breasts, and confident presence.
She’s an impressive lawyer and a dedicated worker, yet still manages to look fabulous. I felt a sense of pride for her, and I assumed he felt the same.
‘I wish people would refrain from mentioning how hot she is,’ he replied with a sigh. ‘I don’t want to be with the most attractive girl in the room; that’s not who I am. I just wanted someone nice.’
Upon further inquiry (with an extra three beers and some probing), he admitted that her ‘hotness’ made him feel insecure. ‘I seek someone who loves me, not someone who makes me feel like every guy around is trying to steal her away.’
It appears that the attributes women think attract men – beauty, youth, extreme confidence, intelligence, and a flawless body – aren’t at the top of men’s priorities after all.
Men typically look for qualities such as having a decent, curvy figure, appearing ‘nice’, being kind, actively listening, being trustworthy, enjoying a laugh at his jokes, and allowing him to take care of her – these traits are what they frequently seek in long-term relationships.
All those efforts, all the dieting, all the self-denial, when we could have been indulging in cupcakes in the bath the whole time. Who’s up for some chocolate?
by Susan Floyd
