Is it twilight, just a moment for a thong when the lights and VPL are dimmed? Not anymore, ladies. No longer.
The splendid news is that, indeed, there exists a lingerie deity.
The thong is fading away…and I’m not referring to it vanishing into some large woman’s derrière.
The G-string, whale tail, or whatever you may call it…has seen a dramatic drop in popularity. From its peak in 2003, sales are down by 17 percent, now contributing only 23 percent of the overall knicker market. While some attribute this decline to a rejection of overtly sexual apparel, others see it as a collective sigh of relief on a national scale.
Indeed, ladies are now opting for more comfortable options like boy shorts, larger pants, and knickers that could easily double as yacht sails on a breezy weekend.
Fashion chain Peacocks has indicated that, for the first time ever, traditional full-sized knickers have outsold their skimpier counterparts.
One European retailer reports a staggering increase of 500,000 in the sales of Brazilian knickers; a type of demi-pant that provides a sleek silhouette without any risk of VPL.
Thus, it appears that thongs are not just shrinking; they’re rapidly becoming obsolete.
It’s not solely that women find them unnecessary anymore. It’s also not the case that a three-pack of practical midis is less expensive than their thong counterparts. It seems that during tougher economic periods, our desire for comfort significantly escalates, starting from the waist down.
The last time we experienced this level of satisfaction was when we dismissed the horror of the three-studded, crotch-buttoning ‘body’ three decades ago. In the Eighties, designer Donna Karan proclaimed she was liberating women with the all-in-one body, but that turned out to be yet another lingerie myth. Indeed, while the body provided a sleek line under that pinstripe power-suit, answering nature’s call in a cramped space was a nightmare.
Melanie Griffith in Working Girl never faced such indignity, but it afflicted everyone else. And who could forget Patsy from Absolutely Fabulous, who consistently neglected to re-stud her body after one or two bottles of Bolly?
At least bodies had their benefits, offering a degree of security and comfort, as they could completely cover the derrière while keeping the wearer warm and cozy.
Such claims are impossible to make about thongs.
Will anyone lament the disappearance of this minuscule piece of fabric? Or shall we silently declare, ‘Depart for good, you elasticated contraptions of disaster!’
Like a dip in the village pond or being accused of witchcraft simply because of a mole on your chin, there surely cannot be a place for thongs in a civilized society.
No, not even those exquisite ones from Stella McCartney.
Thongs cannot be classified as a proper pair of knickers. They merely serve as a semblance of public decency, a decorative piece of tokenism that initially surfaced in 1930s strip clubs.
I don’t mean to sound harsh…thongs ARE undeniably sexy…but why do larger women feel the need to showcase their…Many individuals enjoy wearing thongs and feel they appear attractive in them.
During the Seventies, thongs established themselves as a staple on South American beaches, serving as a practical means to maximize skin exposure for tanning while evading legal issues.From these humble origins, thongs rapidly transitioned from beachwear to intimate apparel and eventually took over High Street fashion, embedding themselves in countless lingerie drawers and those who wear them.
Despite their journey, thongs trudged on throughout the Noughties, assertively positioning themselves as a sultry solution to visible panty lines.
Even though we continue to don fitted pencil skirts, jeggings, and leggings, an abundance of lingerie options has emerged to address VPL, signaling the near end of the thong era.
Admittedly, mid-thigh briefs may not be brief, but they effectively eliminate panty lines with an unwavering determination that the delicate thong could never achieve.
Ultimately, the thong’s singular selling point remains its perceived erotic appeal.
Regardless of any discomfort one may experience, possibly what truly led to the thong’s decline was its connection to tabloid
celebrities.
For wronged WAGs everywhere, the thong has become the standard dress code. Additionally, the thong occupies a notable place in history.
Monica Lewinsky, a 21-year-old intern at the White House, famously delivered pizza to President Clinton, flirted with him, and revealed her thong.
That singular snap of elastic heralded the beginning of an 18-month affair that nearly toppled the U.S. presidency, leaving an indelible mark on both of their legacies.
Would circumstances have changed had Monica opted for a sensible pair of full briefs instead? Or perhaps, some unyielding shapewear?
Most likely not. We all recognize that even a pair of flesh-colored Spanx would not have cooled Bill Clinton’s enthusiasm when he was in the mood.
This factor alone distinguishes him as a unique and extraordinary individual.
by Susan Floyd
