It’s essential to keep in mind that safe sex doesn’t really exist; only safer sex does.
While condoms can safeguard you against many STIs, engaging in kissing, oral sex, and touching genitals still exposes you to risks.
Swinging comes with a clear “try at your own risk” warning for a well-founded reason. You truly must possess a particular mindset to navigate this lifestyle. If you consider yourself open-minded, swinging alongside your partner will test just how open-minded you truly are. Often, jealousy arises, and frequently the desire to engage is not evenly matched; one partner is enthusiastic, while the other participates out of fear of losing their significant other.
This can lead to breakups, albeit often in intriguing ways. I’ve conversed with couples who have swapped partners and surprisingly continued to stay together.
Interestingly, studies indicate that although it is typically the man who proposes the idea of swinging, often pressuring an unwilling wife or girlfriend to join him, it is the women who express a desire to repeat the experience. The research did not elaborate on the reasons, but I suspect it relates to women’s higher level of bi-curiosity compared to men. Many individuals consent to swinging under the pretense of being bi-curious, hoping for a chance to explore same-sex interactions.
Swingers clubs often feature multiple rooms and communal areas, usually with pornographic content playing. Private rooms are designated for couples to engage in sexual activities; they typically will not open the door unless they want onlookers.
Prepare yourself for plenty of flirtation, public snogging, and an overall suggestive atmosphere. It’s wise to resist the temptation to overindulge in alcohol so you can remain attentive to each other’s comfort levels throughout the experience.
Before diving in, it is crucial to discuss and establish specific rules.
“Closed” swinging refers to situations where one partner opts out of being present while their partner engages in sexual activities with others. This could be a sensible choice; however, if you share a strong bond and a satisfying sex life, consider exploring together with others, as this can foster trust. When separated in different rooms, uncertainty may arise about what actually happens, regardless of what your partner communicates. Being together allows you both to have clarity on each other’s experiences, which helps in avoiding significant emotional issues.
“Open” swinging implies both partners are involved, while “soft” swinging allows for heavy petting without penetration.
Additionally, discuss whether same-sex kissing or touching is acceptable and establish a code word for safety. If either of you begins to feel uncomfortable, all that’s needed is to say the designated word, and both should exit the situation. This emphasizes the importance of not being overly intoxicated during your first swinging experience.
One option to experience the excitement of swinging without potential negatives is to visit a swingers club as an observer, participating only in observation.
by Susan Floyd
