by Helena Bryanlith
our Ozzie News film critic
In my previous piece as the Ozzie News film critic of 2011, I trust you found my educated predictions regarding this year’s Oscar winners enjoyable.
I maintain my stance that the films from this year might be somewhat less vibrant compared to those from 1939. The stars and their films seem to lack some of their usual brilliance.
My choice for best actor is still Woody from Toy Story 3.
Sly Stallone should have been recognized for his role in The Fighter, or maybe he was the voice of the king in The King’s Speech—those voices were quite similar.
For best actress, I would select Glenn Close; it’s unfortunate she didn’t receive a nomination.
Once again, best lips goes to Angelina Jolie, while best dressed honors go to Helena Bonham Carter for her quirky choice of mismatched shoes.
Let’s get straight to my pick for the best film. The audience at the back of the auditorium may be cheering for Errol Flynn in Robin Hood, but that was either in 1911 or 2011.
The Oscar for best film undoubtedly should go to… but wait, did you hear that rumor? It’s said that it was shared with the academy voters, claiming that King George VI was a Nazi. How can voters be expected to support a film that lacks empathy for the Israelis? What’s the likelihood that some voters are secretly in favor of Middle Eastern actors? Consider that both Ben Hur and Lawrence of Arabia took home Oscars for best film. Who could forget Oscar Schindler, the namesake of the prestigious award? However, we must remain fair.
The previous year’s best supporting actor had ties to Nazism, as seen in Inglourious Basterds.
Moreover, the tweet insinuating Geoffrey Rush was undergoing a delicate procedure to enhance his chances for best supporting actor was proven to be entirely unfounded.
No, it is unrealistic to anticipate The King’s Speech would claim the best film title, or Colin Firth winning best actor.
My personal nomination for best film can only be Alice In Wonderland. Despite the ‘behind the scenes’ drama and financial expectations associated with an Oscar-winning movie… it’s not the quality that prevails; it’s the marketing and hype that triumphs. They must believe we all exist in a fantastical realm.
Who would you nominate for the Mad Hatter award for the Oscars’ spin?
Indeed, I concur; it has to be Ricky Gervais. I propose he should host this year’s 
Oscars. Oprah and Dr. Phil can handle the awards ceremony next year.
To all the winners, I say don’t worry, hopefully, a better film comes next year. To the unsuccessful, perhaps you’ll get lucky and miss out again next year.
And thus, a thank you to my agent, my parents, my cat, and of course, Brian the dog, without whom I would be falling over in laughter at the acceptance speeches on Oscar night.
If you’re fortunate on Oscar night, you might be out having a good time and miss the performances of the most pretentious individuals acting like self-absorbed monkeys.
Keep an eye out for my ‘after Oscars party secrets’… Elton, have you invited me again?
