Livia Firth is an annoying cow

I wish that Colin Firth’s wife Livia would shut the fuck up.

I’m so fed up to the back teeth hearing about her recycled dresses and how beautiful they are (which they’re not) and how the one that she wore at the Oscars was made out of eleven old dresses. And to be honest Livia, it actually looked like it was made out of eleven dresses that have been thrown away. In fact, it was so punjent with the odour of working class people, I’m amazed you actually made it all the way along the red carpet without fainting. You didn’t need to tell us, Livia…we could tell, because you’re such an Eco-warrior. But I wonder how much a dress like that would cost to be put together?

How many man hours were involved? Which designer made it, and would the ordinary person in the street ever be able to afford the luxury of such eco-couture?

The trouble with women like Livia Firth is that they lose sight of what life is like for us ordinary people.

On Oscars night, Colin Firth proudly revealed to one and all that he was wearing a suit made of sustainable fabric by ex Gucci boss Tom Ford. That’ll be the Tom Ford whose suits retail for around $6000 a pop.

Mrs Firth, we ask the question, ‘Could you be such an amazing eco-warrior, such as you are, if you lived on minimum wage?’

The fact is Mrs Firth, you most probably couldn’t. So spare us all your eco lecture in the future…thank you darling.

by Helena Bryanlith 


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