Young, pretty and promiscuous…today’s women have slept with three times as many men as girls in the 60’s, says a new survey. So is casual sex good for your long term love life, or should you wait for Mr Right?
This is the story of one 28 year old woman who was counted in the survey:
“My best friend shrieked down the phone at me, ‘You’ve done what?’
‘I’ve just slept with two guys in 24 hours,’ I repeated, looking at my rumpled bed sheets, which had seen more action in one day than some women see all year.
I’d picked up a random guy in a bar the night before, for a one night stand, and after he left in the morning I called a guy who’d been chasing me for weeks…with one thing on my mind…more sex.
I wasn’t embarrassed telling my friends about my latest sexual adventure. They know I love sex and I’m proud to have slept with around 50 men in 10 years, most of them one night stands.
Being compatible in bed is a must for me. It’s as important as personality. If you don’t have fireworks in the bedroom on day one, imagine what a damp squib you’ll be faced with in five years time?
If my sexual past puts men off, then I’m just not interested in them.
I was a late starter when it came to sex and didn’t lose my virginity until I was 18. I was nervous about doing it, but looking back now it’s funny what a massive deal it was.
Why do people make such a big thing about sex?
Over the next year I had four more one night stands. Three men I picked up were in bars or clubs. Again, no fireworks. Then I met up with Tom, a 25 year old electrician. The sex was amazing and I finally had my first orgasm. At last I understood what all the fuss was about. And so began my love affair with sex.
Sex is a natural, healthy thing to do. It makes me feel better about myself and more confident. Although not everyone sees it like that. I actually cut a friend off because she disapproved of my lifestyle and called me a slag. She’s still with the first guy she ever slept with…I rest my case.
I was brought up with mixed attitudes to sex. My parents divorced when I was a child. My Dad is a traditional, whereas my Mum is a lot more liberal.
Because of me having a lot of one night stands, I may have intamacy issues, but quite honestly, a one night stand is just, usually, a drunken, physical thing.
I think it’s nice for guys to meet a girl who’s up front about just wanting sex. Hopefully they might respect my confidence and not judge me because I slept with them straight away.
Although I do use condoms, I am sometimes worried about pregnancy and STI’s.
But my current boyfriend is cool. We slept together on the first night, we’re sexually compatible and he hasn’t got any hang-ups about my sexual past. In fact he’s got a very similar sexual past to me. Oh yeah, he’s got a great personality and we get on great.
Because we’ve both been ‘shagging about’, it means that we’ve both been promiscuous and have found someone who we’re both comfortable with. Because we’ve had sex with lots of other people and there’s no hang-ups from me or him, we’re both quite ready to move forward and have monogamous sex with each other.
It’s definitely the way to find ‘The One’.”
Here is another story from a 29 year old woman who was counted in the survey:
“It’s usually on the third or fourth date that I have a chat with the guy, when I explain that I won’t be sleeping with them, at least until I feel we are in a committed relationship.
I’ve had mixed reactions. There are the ones that think I’m joking and then there are the ones who’s faces light up because they have a challenge, convinced that they’re the ones to charm me into bed…they’re always left disappointed.
Just because I’m bought dinner, it doesn’t mean that I will open my legs for you.
Sometimes it’s hard for me…especially when I really fancy the guy and there’s a chemistry. But I’m determined to remain celebate so I can find ‘The One’. Oh yeah, by the the way, I haven’t had sex for four years.
I don’t really miss it. All it brought me was unhappiness and a string of guys who just saw me as an object. The man I’m meant to spend the rest of my life with shouldn’t care if I put out.
I know that for some people sex is a physical thing, but for me it’s an emotional experience, too. Maybe for me, I want it to be an emotional experience only…maybe I don’t have it in me to be physical.
I’m stuck in a pattern of guys who just want to sleep with me, and maybe they like me enough for them to want to sleep with me, but I need more than that…even though I know that sometimes, it’s the only emotion that some guys will show.
I did sleep around for a bit, but sleeping with guys hadn’t led me to Mr Right, so this is why I decided to take sex off the shelf.
I went out with a guy, and after 5 weeks I agreed that he could share my bed…for cuddles only. I couldn’t help but laugh when I woke up to feel his erectionpoking me in the back. Things fizzled out between us but it was refreshing to know some guys are prepared to wait.
I’m not saying I’ll never have sex again. But it’s only going to happen when I find a guy who is serious about a long term relationship.
The man who doesn’t push for sex will be the right one for me.”
Well…there you go lads. You’re either going to settle down with a slag, or be sexually frustrated forever. If I were you I wouldn’t bother. Visit the local whore-house, drink with your mates, get drunk and pull yourself round the bathroom a few times
by Harry Harper