Dear Lily,
Recently, I’ve been engaging in some flirting with Steve from accounts: allowing him to catch a glimpse of my nipple at the water cooler or revealing a hint of my gash as I uncross my legs during team meetings. Just the other day, he told me, ‘leave me the hell alone, this is sexual harassment and if you do not stop I will be forced to make a formal complaint about you,’ but I’m convinced he’s only pretending to be difficult. Do you think it’s too forward of me to try and grab for his cock and balls in the staff canteen?
Lily says – You seem a bit cheeky, so it’s wise to be cautious since this person might just be a tattle-tale ready to inform on you and cause you a heap of trouble. Such individuals will gladly observe and chuckle as you apply superglue to the staffroom door handle, only to be the first to report you when Mrs. Beavis ends up in A&E with a doorknob surgically extracted from her hand. Tattle-tales get a kick out of seeing you face suspension and needing to see the guidance counsellor to deal with your issues regarding authority. Thankfully, those who are known for gluing teachers to doors usually have plenty of friends, whereas those who betray them tend to spend their time isolated in the playground, suffering numerous wedgies and sand being stuffed down the back of their jumpers.
Hope that helps!
