Dear Lily,
Recently, I’ve been feeling doubtful about whether my husband is cheating on me: he has inexplicably begun to take great care in his appearance, has started surprising me with flowers for no apparent reason, and, to top it all off, he perpetually wears an annoyingly blissful grin on his face. Given that I’ve spent the last twenty years trying to make his life difficult, it’s hard to believe that this newfound enthusiasm is directed at me. What can I do to revert that infuriating smile back to a tortured scowl?
Lily says – Have you thought about the possibility that your husband might have an imaginary companion? In my class, there’s a girl named Verity Rogers who has an invisible friend named Barnaby Bumlord. Interestingly, Barnaby appeared shortly after her father was incarcerated for possessing inappropriate images on his computer and her mother went off to participate in X Factor bootcamp. Verity is a sweet child, but Barnaby has a mischievous streak and regularly gets her into trouble with the teachers. Like that time he created a gigantic green Play-Doh phallus and left it on Mrs. Dodkins’ desk, or the incident when he hurled a fork at a poor dinner lady’s head. Additionally, there was the awful swimming pool diarrhoea episode. Though Verity often ends up being blamed for Barnaby’s antics, it’s understandable since he promises to teach her how to leap off the top of the new science block on the last day of term—what a lucky girl!
Hope this provides some clarity!
