Dear Lily,
On Tuesday evenings, while my wife attends her exercise class, I often engage in what I jokingly refer to as a ‘zumba wank’ to alleviate the stress of the day. However, last Tuesday was a bit different; I was in the middle of it when my wife unexpectedly returned, and now she won’t stop crying and refuses to look at me. Is there any way to wipe her memory without inflicting severe brain damage?
Lily says – Sadly, unless you have connections with Harry Potter or one of his magical friends, I don’t believe memory erasure is a feasible solution. Instead, you might consider what my sister did when she found me reading her diary, which revealed an embarrassing incident involving her sharting during geography class and having to conceal her underwear in a plant pot: simply grasp your wife firmly by the throat, tug on her pigtails, and threaten to decapitate her Barbies and stomp on her beloved tea set if she doesn’t forget everything she witnessed and forbids any discussion about it. It’s quite effective.
Hope this is helpful!
