Dear Woosy,
Recently, I came across advice suggesting that “being your own best friend” might enhance your sex life, and that self-pleasuring could actually help couples bond more intimately in bed. However, when I decided to indulge in some private time with myself in my girlfriend’s car the other day, while en route to her grandmother’s for tea, she absolutely flipped! She labeled me a filthy pervert, even though I cleaned up the small amount of nut butter that ended up on her dashboard. Now, she refuses to associate with me, and my sex life has hit rock bottom.
Woosy says – What were you thinking? There’s a time and a place for a little personal pleasure while being driven around by your partner, but you were headed to her grandmother’s – for tea, no less. Did you really think seeing your “love custard” would be appetizing enough to distract her from her upcoming cream treat? While it’s definitely important to show Willy some love, there are appropriate moments for such activities. Next time, consider taking the bus.