Dear Woosy,
In early May of this year, my husband Terry and I separated after fourteen years of marriage, and just last week, our divorce was finalized. Although I feel a sense of relief about no longer being married to Terry, having spent a significant part of my life with him makes me feel uneasy about being alone. At only 34 years old, I find myself at a crossroads in life. How can I manage this situation?
Woosy says – The first step I recommend is to host a ‘Divorce’ shower for yourself. Decorate your car with tin cans and write ‘Just Divorced’ on the back window using shoe polish. Celebrate your newfound freedom in style with the money from your divorce settlement.
Gather all your friends, including those shared with your ex-husband, and enjoy a party so memorable that you’ll forget the reason behind it all. Terry? Who’s that?
If your ex-husband shows up uninvited, seize the chance to provide your guests with spontaneous entertainment. He will likely be shocked to see how well you’re managing post-divorce, especially when you’re not curled up in the fetal position mourning his absence. When he arrives, share how much you’re relishing life without him, and enjoy watching him lose his composure. This kind of unscripted fun tends to be a highlight at a party, second only to the strippers, of course.
You might be contemplating what to do after the festivities wind down, but who says it needs to end? You spent your twenties married, a time meant for truly experiencing life. Now at 34, it’s time to make up for that lost time.
Consider getting a tattoo, piercing something, or even taking a job in the sex industry. Pursue anything you couldn’t do while married. In short, get a life!!!
