Dear Woosy – I want another baby

Dear Woosy,

I desperately want to have another baby but my husband feels that having only one child is perfect for our family. Now that our son is three, I can’t stop looking at pregnant women and wishing I was one of them. I’ve tried everything I can think of to convince him but he still says no. I don’t want to trick him into another baby but I’ll do whatever it takes to get what I want.

Woosy says – I’m sorry to hear that you and your husband cannot agree on what is a very important decision between a husband and wife.

I don’t usually make such drastic recommendations but I can tell from your letter that you are 100% serious about reaching your goal of becoming a mum of two.

If you’re truly as desperate as you say, I suggest you offer your husband a no strings attached three way with you and the hot 20 year old teacher’s aide at your son’s pre-school, in exchange for another baby (if you can manage to be ovulating when it happens it could be win-win for everyone.)

Make sure you set careful parameters and verify that everyone involved knows this is a one time thing. You’ll also want to be very, very drunk. If you’re lucky, you’ll black out and forget the whole thing.

Just be careful if you go this route. I gave this advice to another mummy and even though she was not desperate enough for a three way, she now has a live in au pair from Sweden named Annika (who has the biggest rack you’ve ever seen). Luckily she is too busy breast feeding her newborn to care.


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