Dear Lily,
I am a woman of 31 years, and finding that special someone has eluded me so far. In my twenties, being single was something I enjoyed, but now I feel lonely and quite pathetic. While my married friends relish their wholesome weekends in the park or embark on joyful family picnics with beachballs, I find myself alone in my grimy little flat, trying to entice unsuspecting bachelors in hopes of capturing one as a husband for life. When I’m not trying to seduce random men with promises of illicit encounters on a floral bedspread, my other choice is to throw on my 1995 Topshop pyjamas, cover myself in biscuit crumbs, and engage in solo activities on the sofa while binge-watching Pretty Woman. Can you assist me in my quest to find a man?
Lily says – Sometimes I overhear my mummy and daddy expressing their disdain for each other. They tend to do this loudly when I’m just trying to enjoy Hannah Montana in my room. Most of my school friends don’t have parents who live together, and they’re lucky because they get double the gifts for birthdays and Christmas. Susan Hoddle has two mummies, but that’s just odd, and nobody wants to sit next to her. What I’m getting at is you need to stop stressing about marriage; chances are, you’ll just end up divorced, and your ex-husband will probably date someone in your older sister’s class. Even if you do manage to stay together, he might just yell at you every evening while you slam doors and cry, then accuse you of being a ‘self-righteous old cow who can’t have fun anymore.’
Hope this helps!
